The other day I was asked, “ross, why are you so kind?” Now to be fair, I do consider myself a pretty kindhearted person and it’s not the first time I’ve been asked that question. But in general that question seems like a rhetorical one. For that reason I had never really thought about how I would actually answer, at least until tonight.
When my friend posed that question to me I was a little taken aback. I wasn’t sure what to say. My initial thought was, “why wouldn’t I be?” It seemed pretty obvious to me that being kind was just one of those non-negotiables in my life. But I am aware that there are plenty of unkind people out there. So I decided to actually ponder the question for a moment. Why do I prioritize being kind? After a few moments of thinking, the answer became quite clear to me.
I am kind because I know what a positive impact it can have on people.
It’s pretty sad to me that by and large I think people underestimate the impact that a smile, positivity, and kindness can have on someone and their life. I know firsthand the kind of difference and impact kindness can have because I was shown so much by my family, my friends and my community. You could not imagine the kind of difference it can make.
For a long time I was constantly worried about fitting in. Worried about whether or not people enjoyed being around me and worried about if I truly added anything to a room. If you want to simplify it, I had very low self-confidence for a long time. But here’s the interesting thing that I believe about self-confidence. It is not something that I think can be developed alone. Self-confidence is given by those around you. By people being kind to you. By people building you up and by hanging around a strong community. I was blessed with all these things over the past few years.
I have an amazing support system whether it be family, friends, what have you. The blessing of their kindness, love, and support is not and never will be lost on me. The impact that kindness has had on my life is hard to put into words. Without these things and without my support system, my life could look very different. I no longer feel as insecure. I no longer feel lost in life and while I may not know exactly where life is going to take me, I now know how important human connection, kindness, and love are to me. I certainly would not be as happy, as joyful as I am without the love from others. So, much like many things in my life, I will always make an effort to spread the blessings I was given.
So I guess at the end of the day, the answer to that original question is super simple. It’s because of the impact that I know it can have on people. But what’s even more interesting is the impact that it has on me personally. I mentioned earlier how you gain self-confidence by receiving kindness and love from others. What I have found is that there is nothing that makes me happier or feel better about myself than making someone else happy. And see there is the great irony of it all. The secret I’ve found to being really truly happy is that you have to first be kind to others. When you make someone’s day with a kind comment or you help someone when you didn’t have to, you’d be surprised at how great you feel.
That’s what I love so much about being kind. It’s not just for the benefit of other people. There are kick-backs in the form of how great you begin to feel about yourself. I beg you to trust me when I say that once you get to a point where you love being kind to other people, you will be living the good life. There is nothing better. Trust me.
So there it is. That’s why I’m kind. I believe in the impact it has on people. I believe that simple acts of kindness make a difference. I believe they can change the world.